October 6, 2022

U.S. Veterans

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FAILED AS THE CHIEF | A Parody | Don Caron

3 min read

I got the seed of this idea from a tweet but I have no idea who tweeted it or where it originated. Maybe someone out there saw it as well, and will let me know the origin of it.

Written and Performed by Don Caron | Executive Producer Sally Headley

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Hail to the "billionaire" concealing income taxes.
Hail to the "genius" who must hide his college grades.
Hail to the "smart guy" who poetic never waxes.
Hail to the "businessman" and bankruptcy charades.

Hail to the "christian" who was never known to pray.
And all the "bible verses" he was unable to say.
Hail to the way he always claims to "save the day."
Hail to his "toughness," his makeup, and his hairspray.

Hail to the coward who hides inside a bunker,
fencing off the White House to protect himself from . . . what?
Hail to Mar-a-Lago where he likes to go and "hunker."
Hail to the cheater who’s afraid to make a putt.

Hail to the "patriot" with spurs upon his heel.
Hail to the "dealmaker" who cannot close a deal.
He claims that he is "innocent" but will not testify.
His biggest lie of all was when he said he wouldn’t lie.

Hail to the "playboy" who claims it was all "freebies."
Hail to the "family man" caught cheating on his wife.
Hail to the "philanthropist" who cheats his charity.
Lying, cheating hypocrite, the story of his life.

Hail the "millionaire" who lost a billion in ten years.
Hail to the "successful man" who’s wealth is in arrears.
Hail to all the demons that are driving all his fears.
Hail to what will be there darkness finally clears.

Failed as the "chief" who was chosen for the nation.
He failed as the "chief." He has failed us, one and all.
He failed as the "chief" and he’s causing us vexation.
Instead of fulfillment of a Great and Noble Call.

He said he was gonna make the country even "grander."
No such thing has happened and he’s caused us only grief.
He failed us as the one that we selected as "commander."
He failed as the "president." He failed as the "chief."
He failed as the "chief."
He failed as the "chief."
He failed as the "chief."

BASED ON "Hail to the Chief"
"Hail to the Chief" is the personal anthem of the President of the United States, composed by James Sanderson. The song’s playing accompanies the appearance of the President of the United States at many public events, it is also played at inauguration ceremonies.

For major official occasions, the United States Marine Band and other military ensembles are generally the performers, so directives of the United States Department of Defense have, since 1954, been the main basis for according it official status. It is preceded by a fanfare of four ruffles and flourishes when played for the President. The song is also played during a former President’s state funeral after the casket is removed from the hearse. As it originated in the 19th century, the song is in the public domain due to its age.

Association with the President first occurred in 1815, when it was played to honor both George Washington and the end of the War of 1812 (under the name "Wreaths for the Chieftain").

On July 4, 1828, the U.S. Marine Band performed the song at a ceremony for the formal opening of the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal, which was attended by President John Quincy Adams. Andrew Jackson was the first living President to have the song used to honor his position in 1829, and it was played at Martin Van Buren’s inauguration in 1837. Julia Tyler, second wife of John Tyler, requested its use to announce the arrival of the President. Her successor as First Lady, Sarah Childress Polk, encouraged its regular use in this manner after it was used at James Polk’s inauguration; William Seale says, "Polk was not an impressive figure, so some announcement was necessary to avoid the embarrassment of his entering a crowded room unnoticed. At large affairs the band … rolled the drums as they played the march … and a way was cleared for the President."

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